Full Fledged Investigation Into Who Yelled “He’s Changing, Dickhead.”

Last week, I posted a blog showing this awesome video that kind of sums up the Bruins:

Now, I have decided to investigate who yelled it.  I don’t know why I want to find out, but I need to.

First, there was no heavy accent, so any international or French Canadian player who has any accent that we’d notice, even minor, is out.  So Zdeno Chara, David Krejci, Carl Soderberg, and Loui Eriksson are out.  They didn’t yell it.

Johnny Boychuk and Jarome Iginla were too far away from the bench and Pierre McGuire’s office (the space in between the benches) to be heard, so they’re out.  Knocking out Boychuk is huge, because it kind of sounded like him and he absolutely could’ve yelled that.

Chad Johnson is out, because there’s no fucking way that Chad Johnson yelled that.

Neither did Torey Krug, Dougie Hamilton, Matt Bartkowski.  I’d be surprised if anyone that young on the bench with that little experience who is NOT an enforcer would yell that, because, unless you’re an enforcer, you probably need a little more seasoning to yell it.  Also, I think we know their voices enough to know that it wasn’t them.

Same with Milan Lucic.  We know his voice well enough, and that wasn’t it.

So who are we left with?  All defensemen but Kevan Miller are now out of it.  (Remember, Adam McQuaid was injured and not on the bench.)  The entire first line is out, and so are Soderberg and Eriksson.

That leaves Kevan Miller, Brad Marchand, Patrice Bergeron, Reilly Smith, Chris Kelly, and the entire Merlot Line.

We know Marchand and Bergy’s voices well enough to know it wasn’t them.  Reilly Smith’s voice just seems a little off in interviews like this one for it to be him.  (Yes, I’m looking up guys’ voices if I don’t know them already.  Yes, I’m taking this too seriously.)

Also, I don’t see Reilly yelling this, for similar reasons that I eliminated the 3 young defenseman.  I’m also eliminating Kevan Miller for that reason, because, even though he does drop the gloves and push people around a little more, he’s still barely in his first season, and I don’t think he’d go out of his way enough to yell that.

It’s not Chris Kelly.  If you’ve heard him speak once, you know that’s not him.  Think of the Behind the B commercial when he is trying to pump up his teammates.  Different voice.

So we’re left with the Merlot Line.  As if we’re surprised.

It just doesn’t sound like Shawn Thornton.  Watch these highlights, and at abut 1:40 you’ll hear Thornton yell something similar.  Doesn’t sound like the same guy, even if we all want it to be.

That leaves Campbell and Paille. The problem is that we don’t hear either guy yell all that often.  Let’s check the interviews…

It’s not Campbell.

It’s Paille.  That’s the voice.  Makes sense, too.  A guy who owns the Rangers almost as much as Tuukka Rask does (as does his entire line), and a guy who is hard nosed and doesn’t take shit.

“He’s Changing, Dickhead.”  Brought to you by Daniel Paille.  Glad I was here to help.

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